Friday February 24, 2012

*DISCLAIMER*

This entry is a bit long winded, but it’s been a while and lots of good, but mostly stupid shit has happened in the past month………

First I must explain why there has been such a huge gap in the time since my last entry. Simply put, I’m lazy, NO….Well yes, but I can explain….

Last report, I was in the middle of a grueling schedule at school and I really needed to focus on my studies, I was being responsible. (I just threw up a little in my throat again when I said that word)…….but anyway, all of that responsibility paid off and I am very proud to announce that I am now a Red Seal Chef! Thank you, thank you (applause, applause, waves to the crowd). It was extremely hard and I hated every single moment of it. Everyone said to me “Have fun with it, enjoy it”, to which I say, Shut UP! You have no idea what the pressure was like. I did manage however NOT to cry until the very last day of class, which, in my defense is a huge break through for me, being the over sensitive girl that I am. But when I did have my inevitable break down, it was a good one. It was right after my practical exam where I had to make a 4-course meal in 4 hours in which my dessert didn’t turn out and I was sure I failed! I barely made it out of the classroom to the bathroom where I had a full out DEFCON 5 thermal nuclear melt down. I was sobbing so hard that I couldn’t breathe; snot was dripping down my face, mascara running…oh yeah, I was the definition of a Hot Mess. But once again, I was just being my usual overly dramatic self because I passed with flying colours and with great praise from my teacher. Thankfully it’s done now, my career is in hand and the world is my oyster, so, it was totally worth the trauma, and the ulcer that I’m sure I’ve developed from it.

so what to do next??

Of course I plan on becoming a huge television star with my show “Cooking with Cocktails” What? You haven’t seen it yet? www.youtube.com/cookingwithcocktails   

Episode 3 is coming soon and it’s going to be the best yet!

Another big thing happened, I turned the big 2-5!! ……….OK, 30……FINE…….34. There I said it, happy? Yes, I just turned 34 on February 13^th.  I like to think that the whole world came to a stand still, lit candles and took a moment to celebrate such a momentous occasion in which I was so graciously given to the universe……..but something tells me…… it didn’t………… Oh well, maybe next year…..

For My birthday I went to a Canucks game with my friend Richard. APPARENTLY I was so drunk that when the JumboTron focused on the 7 year old kid sitting 2 seats over from me, I pushed him out of the way, jumped into the shot and waved to the crowd……..NOW, before you judge me, I was VERY drunk and we all know that you can’t be held accountable for things you do after a few dozen cocktails. Thankfully his mom got my houmour and found me charming and hilarious…….. Nonetheless, it was a good bit, and I stand by it.

OH YEAH, so I’ve decided that this whole “So I’ve decided” thing just isn’t going to work for me. Too much too keep up with and to commit to (I told you I have ADD right?) SO, I’ve decided that instead I will just report the daily (and usually drunken) comedies of errors that is my life.

For instance just the other day…….

You know the little thing that holds down the strap of your watch when you have it on? Yeah, that thing! Well it broke, so I thought that I would Krazy glue it back together……or so I thought..… The Krazy glue did NOT fix the little thing that holds down the strap of my watch when it’s on, it did however glue my finger to my watch, and my watch to the table. No really. Shit like this happens to me every day. You can’t make this stuff up.

Have I told you about my New Year’s Eve Party??

WELL, I went ALLLLLLL Out. My entire house was decked out in glitter and gold! Anything that would stand still had balloons and streamers on it, including my dogs. I had a live DJ, the fridge was packed with $500 worth of booze and the buffet table was longer then the eye could see. I invited about 30 people, but I knew that not everyone would be able to come, so I was expecting about 20 guests or so…………4 people showed up. My cousin/BFF Kristen, but only because she had to (and had nothing better to do) My friend Yanira with her boyfriend Nick and Yanira’s daughter Nelli. OK, ok fine, I was going to make the best of it. I looked SO CUTE! I was wearing a suit with a bowtie, a fabulous bowler hat, Gucci accessories, the whole nine yards. Everyone arrived at 9pm. By 10:30pm, Yanira and Nelli were passed out drunk on the couch. At 11pm, Kristen was complain that her pants were too tight, so went and put on her pajamas. 11:03 I was siting there, looking Fabulous, PISSED right off. Arms crossed, pounding back martinis and counting down the minuets until midnight. I swear, that last hour took about 6 days to pass. FINALLY it was the countdown. 3,2,1 HAPPY NEW YEAR! I woke up Yanira and Nelli, gave them half a glass of Champagne and by 12:06 had them in a cab.

Needless to say, my party was a bust……… Oh well, better luck next year.

ANYWAY, I just finished off the last of my bottle of Grey Goose which means it’s time to go to bed…….if it wasn’t midnight right now, I’d be going to the liquor store…….. But since it is, begrudgingly, I say good night