Friday March 9^th, 2012

Greetings from South Africa!

I’ve been here a week and all I’ve done is lazed in the sun, drank cocktails and ate my face off……..

Fabulous!

I don’t have much else to report.

We are only here for a few more days so I am going to soak up as much sun as possible before we head back to rainy old Vancouver.

Monday, March 12, 2012

This is our last day here, so like I said, I was going to drain the sun of every last ray it has,. …

WELL

I was sitting outside enjoying a beverage and reading a magazine, periodically checking out my fabulous tan, thinking, WOW, what a Fabulous tan I have………until I went inside……

Lets just say, it’s gonna be a very long 28 hour trip home with a sunburn.

FML

Saturday March 3^rd, 2012

Greetings from London!

We are only here for a few hours, but that’s just enough time to get a little shopping in.

I Love London!

I’ve decided that I am going to live here one day.

Anyway I have to go. We are sitting in the Star Alliance lounge and there is a lot of complementary Champagne to be drunk before I hit the shops, because lets face it, boozy shopping is the best kind of shopping……

1 hour later…..

Back from shopping.  I got a couple of magazines and some postcards.  I was going to buy a china mug with a picture of the Queen on it to commemorate her diamond jubilee, but I’m not that gay, right? I SAID RIGHT?? Ugh….Oh who am I kidding, it don’t get much gayer then this…..I’m going back for the mug…..

20 minuets later

OK, I got the mug but in my defense, it’s so tacky that it’s Fabulous and I don’t care what any of you think…..

OK I do care, but really, I basically bought a piece of history and who knows, in 50 years time I could go on Antiques Roadshow and it could be worth $10,000 and that’ll show you for judging me!

Yeah right, like I’ll still be alive in 50 years…but none the less, I think that I have made yet another wise shopping decision

Let’s celebrate!

Going for another glass…er…bottle of Champers before we board

See you in South Africa!

PS- British guys are hot….just sayin’

Thursday, March 1^st, 2012

…..I don’t exactly remember all of last night because I drank about 6 dozen martinis. I do however remember walking…..I mean, staggering home, literally with one eye closed so I could see straight. I obviously made it home because I woke up at 5 am on my couch, fully clothed with a half eaten pizza on the coffee table….and a little bit of it stuck to the side of my face.  Still a little drunk and having to be at work in an hour, I pushed away the dogs trying to eat the pizza stuck to the side of my face, rubbed my rose coloured eyes and rolled off the couch, ready to face the world. I then tripped over the area rug and dramatically belly flopped onto the floor, at which point the dogs resumed eating the half eaten pizza off my face……

I somehow managed to drag my sorry, hung over (and maybe still a little drunk) ass to work, where I was pretty much useless. They would have been better off to have a monkey in a chef’s jacket, or even just a rock with a chef’s jacket draped over it….I was a hot mess. The only thing getting me though the day was knowing that I am jetting off to South Africa tomorrow…………

LATER THAT DAY……

I got home from work, where I literally almost died and swore that I would never drink AGAIN!........I picked up a bottle of wine on my home from work. I don’t exactly know what “hair of the dog” is supposed to mean, but I don’t argue with science.

LATER THAT EVENING:

I really should be packing, but it’s SO much more fun to drink wine, listen to my iPod and dance and sing in front of the mirror pretending that I’m on American Idol…….

MUCH LATER THAT EVENING

OMG, it was literally just 10:36pm……..it’s now 4:03am……….

Friday March 2, 2012

9:02 am

I just opened my eyes and I’m not totally sure what’s going on. The room is spinning, my eyes are burning and the pounding in my head is so loud that I’m concerned the neighbors might complain.

I’ve decided that this blog should be called ”so I’ve decided to drink a bottle of wine:…….” I think it’s suiting…

9:03 am– 3:00pm

Procrastinate

3:15 pm

I just finished packing and the cab won’t be here for another 15 minuets. This is my best time yet!!

4:30 pm

All checked in and sitting in the Air Canada lounge at YVR.

About binge drink as much free booze as I can in the hour and a half that we are here..

***Wayne has Super Elite status with Air Canada, thus I get to use the VIP lounge when I fly***

5:17pm

Had a few glasses……..or maybe a bottle of champagne, but nonetheless, I just have  a little rant…..I have to say that I can NOT stand people who wear sweat pants, baggy hoodies and carry their own pillows to travel!! Actually…..I HATE them!!

There, I said it!

I hate them for the fact that they take all of the glamour out of international travel. I am about to take a 28-hour trip to South Africa; however, I am wearing skinny jeans, a safari shirt, scarf and fedora. I look fabulous! Just sayin’……..

6:00 pm

I’m Wasted!

……see you in London…..

Wednesday February 29, 2012

(I might be a bit drunk as I write this)

Well I just got home to a very elated reception.

I just have to take a moment to recognize my dogs, Charlie And Dallas as the best welcoming committee , EVER!

I love walking in the door and feeing like, Madonna, Kylie and Cher rolled to one. All this reception was missing was the paparazzi .

They queened out so hard that I might have to take them to the vet tomorrow…..

But I digress….

So anyway, Milton and I went to soccer tonight, but all we could think about was the premiere of ANTM. We tried really hard to concentrate but like the sugar plum fairies, thoughts of Tyra were dancing in our heads….that and the thoughts of what we would look like with weaves, but again, I digress…….

As a side note, Milton and I BOTH scored at soccer tonight. And it was fabulous……that’s all …….

Anyway, after soccer we picked up some sushi and went back to Milton’s. We wanted to give our full attention to ANTM so we ate our sushi, downed a few vodka martini’s and then it was show time!........

Thank goodness for auto correct because pretty much everything that I just wrote came up as a mistake, including the whole sentence that I just typed.

I just reread what I just wrote and I’m pretty sure that it makes sense…..

I don’t totally know because I’m pretty drunk and I think that I need to eat some pizza………